We all have our flaws. Sometimes those flaws can work in your favor and sometimes they can be detrimental to your growth. One of my flaws is being a control freak that can not stand change. My flaw manifests itself in every part of my life personally, professionally, and especially in relationships. I will definitely say I have grown enough to recognize my flaw. But I did not realize the role it played on my body physically. As a result, I like so many others suffer from anxiety which typically manifests itself through panic attacks.
During the first few months of my engagement, I was obsessed with wedding planning. I researched, planned, and attempted to secure every part of my wedding day details. I wanted to make every decision regarding the wedding day, set my plans in motion, and move on. Needless to say, things did not fall into place the way I would have liked. Within weeks, I was having daily panic attacks. There was a point where I could not even speak about the wedding without losing my breath. So I decided to let go! So what if I didn’t know every detail about my wedding. I understand and realize everyone will have an opinion about what my wedding day should look like. But the only opinions that matter are mine and my fiancé.
In life change is inevitable. Getting married is a big change. Marriage encompasses so many changes from, becoming one with another person, adding new people to your family, and most of all agreeing to share all of yourself with someone else. The wedding day is just the tip of the iceberg, in a marriage. But I know and understand that change brings growth, and growth is beautiful. The person I was yesterday is not the person I am today.
Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future. - John F. Kennedy
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