The Truth About Cohabitating for the First Time

Image Credit: Tanja Heffner

So you're happy and you've decided to move in together. Well, I am not a guru on the topic but this is my first-hand experience and lesson learned. My hubby and I have been living together for 2 years now and I can honestly say every day with him is amazing. I don't always do a great job at the below but these are things that I have been working on and it has made a noticeable difference in our relationship and strengthen our bond.

5 Tips for Happy Couple Cohabitation

1. Don't be a Nag!

Ladies, I know you probably hate me for saying it but it’s true. We all have our own standards of living, so when you’re ready to strangle him for leaving his dirty clothes on the floor or the sink full of dishes, just remember that he is probably thinking the same thing about you leaving your mascara open on the bathroom counter or leaving the shower running for 5 minutes before getting in (my bad babe lol). Before you freak or yell, just remember that no one is perfect. So unless it’s a major deal breaker keep it to a minimum: pick your battles.

2. Get a hobby and Encourage his.

Most people have a hard time grasping why you both need hobbies. Nothing ruins a good thing quicker than too much time together. I know you live together but it doesn’t mean the end of your having a life as you know it. So make time for your hobby whether it is shopping, hanging with friends, reading, etc. Spend some you time and encourage him to do the same. If he wants to play video games or play basketball with friends encourage him. Be his biggest fan. It will nourish and cultivate your relationship. There will come a time when you just need some alone time.

3. Be the Bonnie to His Clyde-Partnership in every aspect

Not only do you need to be partners in your relationship but also at home. Living with someone else is always an adjustment. So it’s important to share the workload at home. No one person wants to be responsible for solely taking care of the entire household, so it’s important to share the responsibilities. You have to be partners in every aspect of your life! Make a list & split the chores you’ll avoid the resentment in the future.

4. Spice it up. Discover your Sasha Fierce.

Never get so comfortable that you don’t spice it up. Every once in a while, you need to put on your “freak” dress and go for a night out or a night in (wink wink). I know he tells you how beautiful you are without makeup, but it’s important you give it that extra effort sometimes to remind him what he has at home. Don’t let this be an every now & then either, be consistent.

5. Share your Life!

So often we just become so wrapped up in each other that we shut everyone else out. So invite over your friends & family for drinks, game nights (We love Cards Against Humanity), dinner, etc. There is nothing more rewarding than having others over and having them share in your new space and love. I have not always been the best at this but, the few times I have done this it was the most rewarding moments in our relationship.

He popped the question! Being engaged is amazing but it comes with a lot of unexpected obstacles. Let me just start by saying don't take anything personal during the engagement. Oh and of course, Congratulations!

Newly Engaged

6. Celebrate being an Engaged couple but don’t forget to be a Couple.

This may sound silly but without a doubt, you will thank me for this. DO NOT allow yourself to become all about wedding planning, after all, it is only one day. Enjoy & celebrate being engaged but remember you are still a couple and partners for life. Focus on spending time together on things unrelated to the wedding; continue to date and hang out together. In others words, don’t wait until after you’re married to build a life together, start NOW.

7. Forgive your family and friends ahead of Time.

Something about weddings just brings out the crazy in people. You may be overwhelmed with text messages, phone calls, and interrogations. Everyone will have questions about your wedding day plans (starting on the day you announce your engagement). I don’t know about you but I am not a fan of 20 questions. However, I quickly learned to nod and say yes, even if I don’t have a clue about what our plans actually are.

8. Relax, Relate, Release, you're Engaged Now! (I am a huge Different World fan, please pardon the random reference)

Remember your wedding is just one day, of the rest of your life. Keep your mind on the bigger picture which is your marriage. Do your best when making your wedding plans; know that no matter what you do, or how much you do, it will not be perfect. There will always be something unforeseen that is out of your control and that’s ok. The most important part of the day is meeting your significant other at the end of the aisle, nothing else really matters.

9. Quickly realize your wedding day is not for You. As crazy as that may sound, it’s true.

The sooner you realize this, the better. Yes, everyone is there to share in your love. But honestly, you are joining together two families that probably know very little about each other. Each person will have an opinion and a plan on how they would like the day to go and what and who they would like to see in attendance. Be prepared to make your family a part of the wedding process, whenever possible. Also, know when to let them know to have a seat.

10. Honeymoon! Honeymoon! Honeymoon!

I can truly say that what I looked forward to most during our engagement was our honeymoon. All I wanted to do was spend some uninterrupted alone time with My Stinky. This is the one part of the wedding that no one else gets to take part in. Personally, I think of it as our sacred place. Your honeymoon is your first adventure together, in an unfamiliar place, where all you have is each other. In some ways, it is very symbolic of your marriage. This is a time for you to learn more about each other.

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